A Love Story

One of the greatest love stories I have ever heard happened in my very own family. All of this is 100% true. 

It began in a little schoolhouse in Mississippi during the 20s. Just a boy and a girl in elementary school, passing notes and talking constantly. To solve all of the disruptions this little boy and little girl created in class, the teacher separated them. Jack Lee and Ouida Waldrop were just children, growing up together in the tiny schoolhouse but they didn’t know they would grow old together as well.

They both had grown up poor. Jack came from a family of eight children. His father was a train engineer, but his mother wanted to settle in the country. They moved to Brookhaven on a farm where Jack and all of his siblings worked. His father was gone to work on the trains a lot, but him and his siblings made the best of it swimming in a creek or playing ball.

Ouida was the oldest of nine children and grew up in the country in Mississippi with her family who sharecropped. Everyone in the family helped, and eventually they had enough to buy their own patch of farmland near Brookhaven. Despite all the hard work, the children still had fun picking blackberries and reading by the fire.

As they entered high school, they remained close and became even closer. They were dating one another and as the Mississippi weather heated up, so did their love. Ouida had to move with her family for a while because they were out of work. The couple was devastated. Jack couldn’t go without seeing her. This is where it begins to sound like something straight out of a Nicholas Sparks book. Ouida was sitting in the sand in her yard looking at the dry cracked road and thinking of Jack, when she suddenly saw someone walking towards her. Her wonderful boyfriend had walked and hitch-hiked about 150 miles across the state of Mississippi to see her!

 Jack was still in high school and Ouida had just graduated from East Lincoln High School. Their love had grown to where the only thing they could think of was to get married. Only 17 years old, they came up with a plan to elope. The couple said that they were going to a play at school, when really, they were about to leave and go to another county. They borrowed someone’s car and five dollars and drove to a preacher’s house where they got married. They were just wearing their normal clothes so they wouldn’t be asked any questions because they told no one. Jack drove them back to Lincoln County and the two parted and went home to their families. Their wedding was on October 24^th 1940.

It became difficult for Ouida and Jack, hardly spending time together and keeping their marriage a secret. The only option was to tell their families. Once they did, they moved back and forth living a few weeks with the Waldrops and a few with the Lees. Shortly after that, they moved to Savannah Georgia where Jack’s brother lived. Jack worked at a paper company and Ouida attended secretarial school. Also during their time in Savannah, they went to the Church of the Nazarene which influenced them in the rest of their lives.

Sadly, more separation was to come for Ouida and Jack. He served in the Navy in 1942 to 1945 and was soon sent overseas to the Philippines. They sent each other letters and pictures; Jack sent her one on July 24^th 1945 and wrote, “I love you darling, Jack.” Later during the war Jack was stationed near Savannah but was sent to Texas and Florida. Ouida found time to go visit him, and when she wasn’t there, she worked for an Army General. On December 5^th, 1945 Jack was off duty and could be back with his true love.

One year later they began attending Bethany Nazarene College in Oklahoma. They made many friends and began to become established church members. Ouida worked in the church office while Jack taught a Sunday school class for 12 year old boys. Jack decided to become a preacher, and they received their first pastorate in the town of Hooker, Oklahoma.

At the age of 28, Ouida had her first child, Dinah Kay. Not long after, they moved to Kansas City to work at another church. They then had another baby girl, Jennifer Gay. Their church, family, and of course their love, grew. Again they moved, this time to Newport, Kentucky. The church was sad, but new opportunities came and so did a new baby girl: my mom. Rebecca Lynn was born on December 24^th, 1959. They moved to Baltimore, Maryland and pastored there for a while next. Constantly moving around, they arrived in Kankakee, Illinois in 1964 where they lived for about 5 years. The girls made a lot of friends, and another daughter was born: Jacqueline Beth. Jack and Ouida were 46 years old!

The church in Illinois threw Jack and Ouida a party for their 25^th anniversary, but they soon left for Georgia. This was their most beloved church family and it was hard to leave them, but Jack was called to be District Superintendent of Georgia. He spent a lot of time traveling and meeting people of the churches around Georgia. Ouida stayed home with her girls during the week, and on weekends they often visited nearby churches.

Dinah soon graduated, as well as Jenni who graduated early. They went off to college and it was just Becki and Jackie at home. But a tragedy soon arose. Jackie crawled into the street while a babysitter was taking care of her and was hit by a car and killed at 22 months old. Even though everyone was sad and grieving, the family loved each other and Jack and Ouida never became unpleasant with one another.

The family went on several little vacations, even though the girls were all growing up. Becki soon went off to college and in time, all three daughters were married. They had a special day to celebrate Jack and Ouida’s 41^st anniversary in 1981.

Just months later Jack became diagnosed with mesothelioma. He could no longer fight the horrid disease, and died on March 14, 1982. Him and Ouida’s love stayed strong through all those years, and in the last moment she is what he was thinking of. With his last breath, he whispered, “Ouida.”

This is the true love story of Jack and Ouida Lee. My mother typed it and created a scrapbook timeline of their romance. I’m retelling it in my own way, but everything I wrote is absolutely true! It sounds just like something out of a movie. If every married couple had a love like this there would be no divorces. This is the kind of love everyone should wait for and find; one that will last through pain and separation, and grows after fighting these battles. I want a marriage like theirs. They made it seem easy, though I’m sure at times it wasn’t. But pulling through is the most important thing. You have to remember what you love about someone. 

The Job Question

I don't think teenagers should have jobs.

But this summer I might get bored. And I might want some extra money. Or money to save for my wedding some day. 

So I'm considering getting a job... I know.. It's a really big shock. I'm not sure how I feel about it. 

I've thought about a few options... And I should probably find out more about them. My main concern is the hours. I do NOT want a job that will schedule me to work during a time I requested off. My boyfriend is working as a lifeguard nearly full time...so I have very limited time left with him before he leaves for college and I am not going to have my time with him taken by some stupid job. So. That's why pretty much any job that teenagers could have won't work for me. Those kinds of jobs are always scheduling you for whenever they want or people call you into work... I just could not handle that. I have higher priorities than some worthless job that pays $7.50 and hour. 

I've considered working at Starbucks. But my friend who worked there said the hours were bad and sometimes they'd schedule you for bad times. And I can't have that! However, I loooove Starbucks. I like to make smoothies and I'd love to learn to make their delicious drinks. I'd be a coffee snob, and know what everything is, and I'm okay with that. I'd see lots of people I know and that's alright too. I'd probably get really fat though. Just being around the drinks would make me crave them even more than I already do. I feel like I'd purposely mess them up just so I can drink the mess-ups. 

My friend has also offered me a job at her parent's warehouse. They own B&H Factory Outlet. They actually used to live across the street from me and began the business in the basement of that house. They are the largest clothing store on Ebay which is crazy. They have a big warehouse somewhere nearby and they have many employees. She said I could work as a photographer and take pictures of the models and mannequins, or someone who does inventory or a desk job or whatever else there is in a warehouse. I think it might be kind of fun because many girls my own age work there... but they're all from Linn Mar and are friends so it might be kind of awkward. It could also get kind of boring if I was just stocking shelves or typing in numbers on a computer. It doesn't sound that bad though, and she told me the hours are pretty flexible especially since they know me. Plus you get free or discounted Victoria's Secret swimsuits I'm pretty sure! So perhaps I'll work there.

Another job I wouldn't hate would be working somewhere like David's Bridal. I love love love weddings and wedding dresses and just everything about it. I love the emotion the brides-to-be have and hearing the comments from the friends or family they bring. Of course being one of the consultants would be the best, but I don't think they give those jobs to teenagers. I wouldn't mind just doing inventory of the dresses though. I'd still get to see some brides and I'd constantly be looking through all the beautiful dresses. Maybe they'd even let me try one on. I really want to try on wedding dresses... I suffer from addiction of Say Yes to the Dress and it's making me want to work somewhere like Kleinfeld or Bridals by Lori. (I'm watching that show as I write this). I'm not sure that they even hire teens, or if they are hiring at all. But it'd be fun. 

The main thing I am thinking about doing is interning for a photography company. Photography is my thing and I enjoy it no matter what. I don't want a job that I won't enjoy, and this would be wonderful in advancing my photography career. It would give me experience and help me in the future, even if I am not getting paid. I could learn new techniques from the other photographers and I would get my name out there for business as well. Perhaps I would get to attend weddings (which I would love) to take pictures or set everyone up for their group photos or something. I'm not really sure what all I would do. My only concern is that I would work Saturdays. That's the only day my boyfriend has off of work... and that's more important. I would love doing this though.

So those are my options. If anything else comes up I'll consider it, but this is all I can think of that I'd be willing to do. I absolutely would not work at a fast food place, or probably any food place other than ice cream or smoothies or something. I could not be a waitress. I'm way too clumsy. I couldn't work just typing in stuff on a computer all day. It'd be too much like school. I wouldn't like working at a store like Hy-Vee and dealing with old people who tell you their life stories as they are checking out. I wouldn't like stocking shelves all day either. Nothing involving math...so not a cashier unless it told me the exact change to give back. So yeah. I really don't know if I want a job or not. I will probably find out some more about each one I'm considering and we will see if I decide to get a dreaded job!

PROM

I finally was asked to prom...! 

And I went.

So one Thursday after my guitar lesson, I was driving home with my dad and when we pulled up there was a huge banner in front of my garage that said "Prom?" Jared then drove up and got out. I hugged him and said yes. (Obviously). 

We went with a vintage look. I spent hours searching antique stores for the perfect vintage hair piece for the 20's hairstyle I wanted. I never found one so I settled on a broach that my dad turned into a hair clip. My dress was long, classy, and red. It had sparkly capped sleeves which inspired the whole vintage thing we were going for. I got my makeup done at Estee Lauder- winged eyeliner and classic red lips. I think Jared looked better than me though. I made him wear a bow-tie, which, despite his pouting, he deemed a "good call" after looking in the mirror at his attractiveness. His tux was black with a white vest. The only red he had was the flower. It was perfect. 

My dress was a bit too long, and I was really scared of tripping going down the stairs at Grand March. I didn't so yay. They have dinner at the school, right after pictures and the grand march. It was pretty good; chicken, ham, and potatoes. During dinner they showed seniors who won random awards, like "bluest eyes... Best smile..." Well, my awesome hunk of a boyfriend won "most smokin' car". I was prettttttty proud of his sexy Mustang and him!

Personally I like the CPU dances more than Kennedy's. I don't know anyone really, so I can dance like a complete idiot and I don't have to face the people who see me every day. Jared does, but he doesn't care. Plus, everyone else dances crazy anyway because most people at his school don't grind. I like that because you aren't pressured to. At Kennedy you look like a weirdo if you don't. At CPU you look like a weirdo if you do. Almost right after the dance started, Jared went up and requested "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. He sings that to me sometimes and we danced to it before and it was really romantic. It was so sweet that he did that. We had fun... even though my dress kept getting stepped on. 

Post prom surprisingly went by really fast. Really the whole night seemed to go by way too fast. They had bouncy inflatables that were fun... no mechanical bull this year but oh well. There just weren't as many fun activities as the year before, but we were still occupied pretty much the whole time. You get tickets for every activity you do, then you put them into buckets to win prizes. Jared didn't win any-he wanted the TV. Every student from his school wins a smaller prize, he got gloves or something but gave it away. They had extras so I got perfume. There was a hypnotist which was fun to watch. Jared went up to get hypnotized  but it only worked on him for like 5 minutes then he fell out of it. I was sad... I wanted to see him dance like Beyonce and be silly. Overall though, it was really fun and exhausting. I'm still recovering from all of this fun craziness. 

The Perfect Date

I would be so good at giving some girl the perfect date.

If only I were a dude.

Oh well, maybe my boyfriend will read this and get some ideas ;) I'm just going to write about things that can be done here in Iowa... this would be much more exciting in other areas. 

It would start out before the sun rises. We'd drive out by some lake or somewhere pretty in a pickup truck. He would have piled the bed of the truck with blankets and pillows and brought some breakfast to go. He wouldn't have even told me he was coming, just show up at my house with flowers and drag me outside and into his truck. He wouldn't even let me get out of my pajamas or put on makeup. We'd go drive up close to the lake or wherever and then he'd make me get out. I'd crawl up into the back and see the perfect cozy place to cuddle and eat breakfast and watch the sun rise. And we would do just that. Then we'd fall asleep for a little bit since it was so early.

After that we would come home and he would tell me to go get ready, like shower and all that. While I'm in the bathroom he would pick out the perfect outfit for our date and lay it all out on my bed so I know exactly what to put on. He'd tell me to get my swimsuit and some towels and put them in a bag, and maybe some extra clothes too. Next we'd just stroll through a park, maybe go in some little shops. We'd act silly and try on weird hats and glasses and things. We might even go to a museum or just somewhere we can walk around and look at things and people can look at us and how cute and awesome we are. We'd have lunch in a simple little place, maybe even take it to go for a picnic  We'd get dessert and share it and sit there for a little bit and just talk.

Then we would take a boat or canoe out into the lake or river and ride around for no reason. We'd reenact the scene from The Notebook just to be weird. And we'd drink sparkling grape juice in a wine glass packed in a picnic basket. In fact, maybe we'd have our lunch picnic on the boat. 

It would be during the summer when it's warm and nice. If there was a local fair or anything going on we'd go ride some rides for a bit. Definitely the Ferris Wheel. By then it'd be about time for dinner. He would have made reservations for some really nice place and surprised me. He would just have the whole day planned out. That's the most important thing. 

Next we'd drive out far away and lay in the bed of the truck and look at the stars some more. It'd be pretty late by then, and he'd drive us to a creek and we'd swim under the stars. It might be a little cold but it's still fun to swim in a creek. No one around, just the crickets chirping and the frogs croaking. 

Reluctantly, we'd head home. He would come and open the door of the truck and walk me to the door and kiss me goodnight. A great ending to an exciting day. *Sighh.....*

Old People Taking Over Facebook

The 40+ generation has taken over.

Taken over Facebook.

Has anyone noticed that the only posts they see are from angsty freshmen/middle schoolers and middle aged adults posting every detail about their day?

Adults have always criticized teens for posting every detail of their life on Twitter or Facebook. Now they do it more than us. They don't just post the acceptable one-sentence "Just got coffee from Starbucks yum". They post a PARAGRAPH about their trip to Starbucks, other miscellaneous errands they ran, the conversations they had with each person, and how their dog peed all over the couch while they were gone. Do they think people care? Like, get a diary Uncle Darrel. I'm fine with SHORT posts about something funny your small child or pet did, but we don't care about how your dog is doing three weeks after it was neutered. We don't want to read a 5000 word paragraph about your day at the airport. We don't want to see a picture of the dinner you make every single night. We don't want to scroll through all of your reposts of a political ad. We don't care about how you wish things were back to how they were in the 60's. We don't want to read about your new "pain or ache of the week". We really, really do not want you to comment on every picture we post and say something embarrassing. We don't want you to post on our page about something stupid we did when we were little, or how much we've changed, or grown up. We don't want you to comment on our weird facial expressions. We don't want you to write a paragraph in the comments of our changed relationship status. We don't want you to post 83578926359 words about your time at the Gather's concert.

THEN these old people say "LOL." They think it's all hip and cool to type like a middle-schooler. "I had fun with u 2day, thx 4 spending the day with me and i hope ur dog gets better LOL!" Please stop. Please. It's just annoying and stupid and weird. It bothers me when people my age do it, it bothers me more when old people do it. Especially when they capitalize LOL every time. I wish they just wouldn't say "lol" but why capitalize it if you must? I mean, I get it's an acronym, but capitalizing it just makes you look way overly excited about something that probably isn't even funny.

So please stop, dear elderly people. We love you, yet, we really don't want to know about every minute detail of your life. And then you make fun of us for doing that.... Look at yourselves! You people are on Facebook more than most teenagers I know. What's next, Twitter? The old people will be "twittering" (as they call it) about their aches and pains. Their dog's aches and pains. How they accidentally spilled coffee on their carpet. Please understand, we appreciate you... but WE DON'T CARE. xoxoxo

The P-word.

Number one word I hate- pickle.

*shudders*

I can't stand that word. I don't know why really... but yep. I just can't stand the word pickle.

Perhaps it has something to do with the awkwardness of it. Think about it. Pih-kal. "pi-kəl". It's just so weird sounding. I hate why people use it like "I was in a pickle". I know they do that in baseball and softball... and they should call it something else. Yuck- thinking about this word so much is making me sick.

Pickles are really disgusting vegetables. Cucumbers are fine... but for some reason I just can't stand to look at pickles. They're ugly and awkward looking. They were once a nice cucumber shade, and now they're a dark ugly poop green. They have warts on them and bumps like they have some disease. In my opinion, they look like frogs or toads in a different shape. They're the same color and texture and have that cold moist feeling like frogs or toads. The taste is disgusting. I don't see how anyone likes them. There are even some psychos who like to drink pickle juice. Ew! That's just so nasty! How can one torure themselves like that? They make this terrible crunching sound when you bite into them. It's like it's crunchy but it's juicy. It's not normal. Pickles are just drunk cucumbers. They sit for a long time in some kind of smelly solution until they are ruined and sickening. It's like making beer, but with a perfectly good vegetable. They also smell terrible and give you nasty breath. Then people ruin their sandwiches with them. It's one thing to put a small pickle slice on a sandwhich, but some people even eat them PLAIN. That is disgusting. Then people fry these ludacris vegetables (if you can even call them that) and pretend to ENJOY eating them. Fools.

I would even go so far as to say I am afriad of pickles. They're like.. wet and slimy and warty and weird and gross and smelly and disgusting. I don't want that thing near me! Someone once put one on my plate and I had to look away while they got it off. I often cover them with napkins or hurry to throw them away if they come on a dish I have ordered. I just really hate them. 

Django Unchained

"The D is silent hillbilly"

Django Unchained was a great movie. It was full of history and dialogue and action. I'm a girl and I actually like action movies. Not all the time, but I enjoy them most of the time. I liked this one because it wasn't fighting constantly..it was mostly just at the end. 

Anyway, a short summary of the movie:  A German man (Dr. King Schulze) rides up to some slave traders, kills one, takes Django, and gives the other slaves a gun to kill the other slave trader. The German dude was a bounty hunter and he needed Django's help to figure out who three guys were that he needed to kill for the bounty. They go into a town, kill a sheriff who was also wanted, then make their way to the plantation where the three men are that they need to find. Anyone who sees Django is shocked because he is a black man on a horse and he is free. Schulze didn't believe in slavery so he said Django and him were more like partners. Django killed two of the guys, whipping one of them to show him how it felt since he had just been about to whip a slave girl. The main part of the story is that they were trying to get Django's wife back to him. They had been separated after they tried to escape together and had been caught. They were sold to different people and when Schulze found that out he wanted to help Django. They figured out the plantation Django's wife was at. The owner of the plantation (Calvin Candie) was also the owner of many Mandingo fighters. Schulze and Django claimed to the owner that they wanted to buy one of his fighters and they would pay a great price. Django saw his wife, Hildie, and they had to pretend like they didn't know each other. Candie's butler, Stephan figures out that they know each other and informs Candie. They end up all shooting each other. Schulze gets shot and so does Candie. The few people left take Django and then sell him to slave traders. He tricks them into releasing him and he kills them. Then he goes back for Hildie. He kills the few white people left, then shoots Stephan in the leg and lights the house on fire and throws some dynamite in there. It blows up, and him and his woman ride away into the darkness. 

It was a really cool story with some great actors such as Jamie Fox, Samuel L. Jackson, and Leonardo DeCaprio. They could have sworn less, and maybe not shown so much blood shooting out of the people when they got shot. Overall though, it was a great movie and I've watched it twice so far.

If I Was a Billionaire

If I was a billionaire I think I would have some fun and do some good.

I would buy a ranch in Colorado, get some cows. A hundred horses. Some ranch hands. And a huge log cabin house looking out over a lake. It'd pretty much be a mansion of a "cabin". It'd have a big porch all the way around and lots of windows and sky lights. The back overlooking the lake would have a big deck with a grill and rocking chairs. There'd be a slide into a pool under the house off of the deck. There would be a glass room that would be like my studio...for art and writing. There would be perfect places around the hundreds of acres of land for me to take pictures and go four wheeling. 

Also, I'd buy a penthouse apartment in Chicago or New York. It'd be all fancy and urban with a huge closet. I'd buy boatloads of clothes in the upscale stores lined in the streets of the city. I'd go to fancy dinner parties and fashion shows and work some at the New York Times or Chicago Tribune. I'd have a chauffeur drive me around in a limo just to be awesome and feel important. People would know me and I'd get invited to parties and stuff but I'd just shop instead. 

I'd also have a little beach house somewhere. It wouldn't have to be big, just enough for me and my husband to stay and keep some surf boards and a boat and a convertible corvette.

That brings me to my cars. A mustang-red Shelby with white stripes. An awesome big truck. An old convertible stingray corvette. A limo. A jeep. Those are just mine...my husband will have his own awesome cars too. We'd have an underground garage thing and show room in our main house in Colorado. 

We would always be going on cool trips to different countries and staying in the nicest hotels. We'd go to the famous restaurants shown on the Travel Channel. We would also get VIP tickets to some very cool concerts, and be some of Maroon 5's groupies or something. We would get tickets to the World Cup all the time too. We would get to meet a lot of famous people and go to movie premiers just because we're that rich. 

I'd also give a lot to random organizations like JDRF and cancer organizations. I would donate to Children's hospitals, missionaries, and I'd try to help homeless people find jobs. I really love sea turtles, and I would contribute a lot to efforts to save them. I'd also go volunteer to help them myself. I would put a lot of my money in the bank for my kids later on and I'd give a lot to my family too. 

Just Wait, He's Somewhere

So many teenage girls I know are freaking out about being "forever alone."

Well stop. 

I know, easy for me to say right? I found the love of my life at the age of 15. 

But I wasn't looking for him.

There's this thing called serendipity which means good things happen when you don't expect them to. I think that these girls (or even boys) need to stop complaining about it and just let it happen when it does. If they don't want to just let it go, then maybe they should actually try to look for a guy instead of  writing about how they are oh-so-lonely and in need of a cuddle buddy on Twitter. 

When my boyfriend and I began talking, I was not really looking for a relationship. I had been for months (maybe years) before that. I had liked this guy at my school for almost two years and he was still only my best friend. And even that was falling apart. I finally gave it up. I mean, I had said that sooo many other times but I always just fell back into liking him again. This time, I left for church camp right after I decided that. I thought "okay, I just won't worry about boys for awhile. I'll be with friends and worry about that later. If one shows up, then so be it, but I'm not going to waste another two years of my life going after some guy who will never like me." And guess what. That very week at camp I started to get to know Jared. It usually won't happen that quickly; I was lucky. 

My point is, girls need to just relax. Most people don't find their soul mate in high school! And you shouldn't become so desperate that you'll date just anyone because you want a boyfriend THAT badly. You have years ahead to find the perfect one not just someone. 

Dating is all about finding the person you want to marry. You shouldn't even consider dating someone if you could never ever see yourself with them for the rest of your life. And frankly, most people aren't ready for that in high school! I'm just one of the weird ones who likes to start planning the rest of my life wayyy in advance-and I found the boy I want to spend it with too. Most people, on the other hand, really can't handle that kind of commitment or planning at this age. So don't worry about it. This may be cliche, but God will find you the one when the time is right. 

I see girls post that there are no good guys left, they're all jerks, no one would ever love them, guys like the ones in movies aren't real.
THAT is why I encourage these girls to wait. Wait until you find a good guy. Wait until you find one who proves to you that all guys actually aren't jerks. Wait till one loves you more than you could have ever imagined. Wait until one is crazy about you like those guys in movies are with their girls. 

It isn't easy to find. Sometimes you just have to sit back and wait until one comes along. They do exist. Nice guys do exist. I'm not just saying that because I have the perfect boyfriend. In fact, he's not always perfect. Sometimes I wish he was more romantic. We all have these super high expectations and they corner guys and make them look like jerks because they aren't exactly like Noah in The Notebook. But when they truly do love you and want to be with you they will show it in some way. Maybe not exactly like the guys in a Nicholas Sparks movie or Taylor Swift song like we wish, but they'll show you. 

My advice to these girls is make a list of everything you want in a guy. It can be hundreds of things. Then order them in importance. If you meet a guy who you think is interested in you, first make sure he meets your top ones. Until you meet someone though, don't say all guys are jerks because that is only hurting the guys who could have been attracted to you. It makes them think that they could never get close enough to you because you'll just hate them because they're a guy so they're obviously a jerk. When you do meet someone don't push them away. But before you even start dating you should hang out some to see if he really does meet your criteria for a good future husband. If he doesn't, why waste your time? Save yourself the heartbreak. And if he doesn't seem at all interested, don't go after him for too long because by running after him you could be missing someone amazing standing on the sidelines waiting for someone like you to see them. So just don't worry. It will all work out if you give it time. 

Ew children.

I hate kids.

Okay I don't.

I love the ones I know. I love my little cousins and I love my boyfriend's little brothers and sister. But those little random kids in public, I just can't stand.

 They're gross. I see kids walking around the store with their hands in their nose or mouth then they touch everything. There's always kids sneezing or coughing. They smell. Some kids really need to start using deodorant at the age of like 9 and not wait until they're 12 or 13 because they stink. There's always random kids wandering around. Especially at the pool. Those kids are oblivious to everything going on around them and the end up running into you. They accidentally touch your butt. They say random things to you like they think they know you. Crazy kids. I always seem to get sick when I'm around them. They scream and throw fits and are bratty and obnoxious. They can be fun. But not random ones in public. They're sometimes cute from a distance. As long as they don't grab my leg with their snotty hands. 

Diet Time

I am getting more crap for being on a diet than for being fat.

Why is our culture so messed up?!

I want to start eating healthier so I feel better, look better, and have more energy. And people are telling me I don't need to do that. They're saying "Oh shut up, you're beautiful the way you are, don't listen to society!!!" Well yeah, it's not all about that. I think I look fine. I just don't fit in clothes that well and I want to be healthy. 

Now a days people give you more of a hard time for trying to be skinny and "conforming" than they do for being fat or eating three meals at once. 

I don't eat enough vegetables. I eat lots of fruit so that's good. I eat quite a bit of meat. I eat way too much grains and pasta-y stuff. I started this soup diet where you basically only eat vegetable soup, vegetables, and fruit. As the week goes on you can begin having a small amount of poultry or yogurt. The soup was pretty gross. My friends told me I was crazy for doing that and that I didn't need to. Well I just wanted to. I wanted to get a start on trying to eat less. It's not even so much that I eat unhealthy things, it's just that I eat a lot. 

I want to be in the healthy range for my height. Being short means I have to weigh a lot less than most people to have the "healthy" BMI. Really, it isn't about the number on my pants, it's the number on the scale. It's gone up. A lot. My size hasn't changed a ton, my pants are bigger because that's where I tend to gain my weight: thighs and butt. It's a lot healthier to be bottom heavy than top heavy so that's good I guess. I don't think I look that bad. Seeing myself from the top you'd think I was an average weight girl. Just seeing me from the bottom you'd think I was a fat girl. That doesn't bother me too much. I'd just like to be a little slimmer so I look better in a swim suit and I don't have to wear Spanx with all my tight dresses. I hate running but I know that's the best way to lose lower body weight. Well. The truth is, I don't want to lose my butt. I like it. People say it's one of the best things about my body. So I obviously don't want to lose it. Just a little on my thighs. That's one reason I hadn't started trying to lose weight and I haven't exercised in a long time. Now though, it's to the point where if I lost a little bit I think that'd be good. I just don't want to be another flat bottomed white girl ya know? But I want to fit into my shorts from past summers so... it's time to lose a little I suppose. 

 #thestruggle :(