Crazy People at the Airport

The airport is one of the most ridiculous places I have ever been.

You’d think I’d be used to it by now, I’ve been flying since I was two months old.

I’ve been on more planes than probably just about anyone in my school. When I was little we would go on vacations at least three times a year, plus all the trips to Georgia. We would pretty much always fly and never drive. Who wants to sit in a car for 18 hours when you could just fly for 4? Not me. I hate car rides.

So the other alternative is to fly. You get to go to the airport and see all the sites from other cities. Sometimes it’s super frustrating, but not as frustrating as your little TomTom GPS telling you to go down a one way street the wrong way and getting you lost every time you turn it on.

Lately I haven’t gone on as many vacations. I haven’t been flying as much as I used to, but I am flying alone a lot more. Pretty much every time I’ve been on a plane in the last year and a half, actually. I  often go by myself to see my relatives in the south, like Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Georgia. I’ve gone all of those places by myself this year.

Almost every time I have flown recently I have gone through the Chicago O’hare airport. I have that place memorized. There’s a Starbucks right after security and a Johnny Rockette’s just a little ways down. It also has this place called Argo Tea. It’s delicious and I always have to go there to try some weird type of tea and eat some macaroons. I was stuck in this airport for about four hours coming back from Mississippi last summer, so I walked around while I was bored.

I also know the Atlanta airport pretty well from flying there so many times. There’s a Popeye’s on concourse B. That’s really the only thing you need to know.

There are some crazy people in the airports. Foreign people seem to be the craziest. I’m sure I’d look just as stupid as them if I was in another country and could barely speak the language…but man do they annoy me. They always seem to walk so slow...RIGHT in front of you. This is only a problem in big airports really, but it’s so annoying when it happens. They walk slowly in front of you and then turn around and run into you. Or they walk the wrong way. This is America people, we walk like we drive. It’s the opposite of Britain. They also seem to talk louder than everyone else. They get on their phone and start yappin’ in their foreign language. They also just cause problems. Again I’m sure I would too if I were in a foreign country. I wouldn’t know how everything works. But it seems like every flight I’m on they have to go up to the counter and make sure they have a seat, or on the flight they are trying to talk on the phone while we’re in the air and the flight attendant has to come tell them they can’t do that.

The other annoying people are first time fliers. I mean, it’s kind of cute if it’s a little kid. But if you’re a teenager or adult and you’ve somehow never flown before, you need to understand that you have to follow directions. In security you have to take off your shoes and jacket. You need to get rid of any metal on you. Like, how stupid are people? There is a sign RIGHT there and they don’t read it and then they hold up the line and have to go back through the security thing three of four times. It also makes the people working very grumpy, and they’re already scary enough. They also are people who walk very slow in front of you, looking at everything they pass by. Sometimes they freak out about flying. THAT is super annoying to someone like me who passed that scared stage 15 years ago.

Also big families at airports are annoying. Especially ones with small children. The kids scream and cry the WHOLE plane ride. Big families = big migraine for Jessie. They are constantly talking or just making some kind of noise. The kids electronic games are making noise, the husband is on the phone, the teenager is yelling at the 7 year old, the baby is screaming and the mother is yelling at everyone to be quiet. It’s the worst.

There are also crazy people who wear heels at the airport. Like sorry but I just don’t get that. I understand if you have to dress nice because you have to go to a meeting as soon as you get off the plane or something, but don’t you have time to change your shoes woman?! I could not handle that. There’s so much walking in big airports, and standing and waiting.

Crazy crazy people.