Isiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;    do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This is my favorite Bible verse just because I'm scared a lot. About a lot of things. And I often feel alone. But this reassures me that I shouldn't be afraid and that I always have someone with me to help me and hold me up when I'm feeling down. I just flipped to it randomly one day in my Bible when I was sad or angry, and for some reason went to my Bible which I don't usually do. I read this quite often, I try and go to it when I'm scared about something. Anyway, I just felt the need to share it and maybe it would comfort others as it does me sometimes.

The Process of Homecoming

So yesterday was homecoming. For us girls, the dance is just a small fraction of the whole big deal of Homecoming. Here is the process of getting ready for a homecoming dance from just the average Jessie.

1. Find yourself a date. If you say "I don't need/want a date" you're probably lying and your sad self just needs to get to the realization that you in fact do want someone to buy your meal and hold your purse for you. Get your booty out there for the men to ask. You can start by choosing a male to ask you. Make sure he has nice abs and has a sexy car. Next, follow him around. Everywhere. Even into the bathroom. Make sure he likes your cats and isn't afraid to take them for rides in his sexy car even if they pee. Start talking to him about the homecoming game. Ask him if he's going. The exact time he will arrive. Who he's going to sit by. What color he's going to wear-including his shoelaces and underwear. How tall he'll be. Stuff like that. Keep the conversation going even if it's totally random. Then talk about how homecoming is the next day. Ask him if he's going. If he says no, ask him why. If he says because he doesn't have anyone to go with, SEIZE THIS OPPORTUNITY WOMEN! Say, "Oh.. me neither.. so I might just end up going with friends I guess..." If he doesn't proceed to ask you, you're either ugly, or he's a wimp and needs punched by a gorilla. If you're ugly, plaster on the makeup like you're Adam Lambert. If he needs punched by a gorilla, invite him to the zoo and throw him in the cage. If he still doesn't ask you, lower your standards. Maybe you will only get super nice abs and a semi-nice car. But don't let that bring your hopes down! You can always force him to spend his college savings on a nice Porsche later! 

2. Get a dress. This may come before #1, but either way you need a dress. When you go about getting this dress, make sure you know what color looks absolutely horrid on you if your date is the gorilla-punch type of guy. Then buy that color so your date is inclined to tell you you look nice and you feel good about yourself even though you look like poo. If your problem is you're ugly and you don't want to go that route, find a dress that looks like a mirrored glass building in Chicago. Lots of sequins and sparkles so you just shine and no one will notice your face. Looking like a hooker is always acceptable to avoid anyone noticing you. Maybe you just want to wear some reflectors on there or throw some neon on your dress so you really fade into the background. Then make sure you get some 7 inch heels so you can be taller than your date and have a great time walking or dancing. They also help with the whole "hooker" idea.

3. Make sure your date knows what to wear. If you're wearing bright pink, so will he. No questions asked. Just tell him, because really, they do not give a flying squirrel about what they wear. If they don't know how to pick out their own clothes, take them and show them the nice Gucci tie you expect them to buy. 

4. Go tanning. Whether you go to the tanning beds, or just get a spray tan, your goal should always be to look like a carrot. If you use the beds make sure you use the "bronzing" lotion, about 5 layers before you get in should do. Then go every day for 20 minutes so you have some nice wrinkly hands by the time of the dance. If you're getting a spray tan, you should wait until right before the dance, then get the darkest color they have so you look like you just came back from Hawaii with a natural orange glow about you.

5. Get your nails done. If you do them yourself, good luck because I for one, suck at painting my nails. If you go get them done and get fake ones, tell the nice foreign woman to leave the tips as long as she can just in case you need to scratch or claw any other chick who tries to talk to your date. Make sure they are sparkly and match your dress. If the foreign woman doesn't understand what you want and does it wrong, make her start all over for free and do not give her a tip. 

6. Do your hair and make up. Before the dance, bleach the absolute crap out of your hair. It'll go great with your florescent orange skin! If you don't have time to do that, just utilize your hair spray and the "poof." Aka, the "Snooki Poof." That's basically the look you wanna go after for homecoming, Snooki. Make sure you have super long fake eyelashes and use a whole eyeliner pencil. Add glitter all over your eyelids and maybe some inside of your eyes as well. Or, you can always get your hair and makeup done, just make sure you stress to them that you want to look like you came off a street corner in St. Louis. This whole process of hair and make up can take anywhere from 3-17 hours. 

7. When your date arrives. Wait about 20 minutes to go out and say hi, even if you're completely ready. This will impress him and he will have an opportunity to meet his future in-laws while he's waiting around for you. Once you come out, give him a long linger hug that lasts for about 5 minutes and "accidentally" smear your makeup all across his shirt.  If he doesn't tell you how dang smokin' hot you look, say, "how do I look?" so that he HAS to say good, otherwise he looks like a jerk and you'll just kick him out on the streets. Get out his boutonniere, and if you don't know how to put it on you should probably watch a how-to video. If you're too good for that, just risk stabbing him in the nipple or have a parent awkwardly put it on him. Next take pictures. Guys love having their picture taken, so make sure this goes on for a good hour or so, plus pictures at the dance. Do every pose you can think of, and take 20 shots of all of those poses. As your about to leave, stand outside of his sexy car until he opens the door for you. 

8. Make sure you have dinner plans. If he doesn't care where you go, not that it matters, make a reservation for the most expensive place in town. Hey, he's paying right?! Order spaghetti, because everyone eats that so gracefully. You can also do the whole Lady and the Tramp thing and share a noodle. Dinner is also a good time for some pre-dance flirting. Tell him he looks like a small rodent when he eats, or you love the way he sticks his tongue out before taking a bite. These are sure to get you a kiss later on. ;)

9. At the dance. I'm not going to go into great detail on this one, but make sure to take your shoes off so you can get cray-cray on the dance floor and get some good ole' foot fungus or step in something nasty. Then make your date give you a foot massage later. Be sure to forget your student i.d. so you have to sweet talk your way into the dance or sneak in. It adds to the excitement of the night! If your date sucks at dancing, ditch them and then show them how awesome you are by dancing with everyone else. During slow dances, make eye contact the whole time without blinking to really keep the mood. 

Anyway, have fun!

It's Alright to be Little Bitty

I have always been one of the shortest people in my grade. Not so much now it seems like, but people still call me short.

I am 5'1". Not abnormally short, but not tall at all. It comes with advantages and disadvantages. I remember once in 5th or 6th grade, I was hanging out with my friends, who of course were all taller than me. A country song, "Size Matters" came on the radio and they started singing it to me all the time. I just sang back the Allen Jackson song "It's Alright to be Little Bitty." What weird children we were. Anyway, I didn't reach the 5' mark until 8th grade I think. Most kids were 5' by 5th or 6th it seemed like. In 5th grade I helped serve lunch to the kindergartners and, I kid you not, there were at least three of them taller than me. 

Can you guess which one I am? Yup. Center and shortest.

Being short can be good. More if you're a girl than a guy, probably, but I'm a girl so it's okay. You never really have to worry about dating a guy shorter than you. People think short girls are cute sometimes. You can buy shorter dresses and get away with it. (Sometimes.) You have less ways to fall if you trip. It's easier to touch your toes if you're short with short legs like me. I'm pretty sure it's better for dancing and cheer-leading for some reason, but I don't really know about that. You can fit in small places unless you're just totally fat. You don't hit your head on ceiling fans or other things that could concuss you. You can get away with standing on things more than tall people. You don't look like a sky-scraper in heels. You can jump on people's backs and force them to give you piggy-back rides.

Now here's the problems. The biggest one being you can't reach everything and you have to ask for help like a little kid. People don't see you in a crowded hall way and walk right into you. You get mistaken for an eleven year old at the movie theater or get asked if you want a kid's menu. Clothes are often too big, especially jeans. You have to buy short-cut jeans but some brands don't have them and then you look weird. Your face is always awkwardly right by your taller friends' boobs when you try and hug them. You can't play basketball unless you're just really fast or good. It's hard to be fast because one step for a tall person, is like three steps for a short person or someone with short legs. People make fun of you and constantly remind you you're short. Duh, we know that, we can see in a mirror. It's hard to lean over a sink to wash your face. Some restaurant tables are just too high and you always poke yourself in the eye with your straw. You can't see over people when there's a crowd and something exciting is going on, or even just in a movie theater, if a tall person sits in front of you it sucks. It's a lot harder to stay skinny and look slim because you can be short and stout. Like a teapot. There's more bad things, but us short people kind of just learn to deal with it. 

Despite all the troubles that come with being short, I actually prefer it to being tall. Whenever I wear heels I feel too tall. When I'm around little kids for a long amount of time I feel awkward and like they're looking up my nose. It would suck to not be able to date shorter guys. They're always the cutest. I feel weird being above people. I'm just not used to it. I had a dream I was in some other country where everyone was short and I felt like a big, tall, fat, monster. It's just bizarre to me to have my head in the top of the crowd. So, that's why for me, it is alright to be little bitty.

It's Kind of a Funny Story...

The other day I watched the movie "It's Kind of a Funny Story." It was supposed to be a comedy, but clearly the movie industry has some kind of sick twisted view about what's funny.

It was about this kid who wanted to kill himself, so he checks himself into a mental hospital. Sure, there were funny parts with some of the characters, but it was not in anyway a comedy. I don't think depression is very funny. I don't really think any of their conditions were that funny... just sad that anyone has to go through that... and they shouldn't poke fun at those types of people by calling it a "comedy." Otherwise, it was an okay movie.

Anyway, this movie made me realize the world is basically a mental institute. It's full of messed up sad people. There's crazy people losing their mind about something. There's people who get so caught up in their work nothing else matters. There's people who have anger issues. There's people who are just always sad. And there's people who are compulsive liars because they pretend like nothings wrong. At least, I see them as liars. How could nothing hardly ever be wrong? Somethings almost always wrong for me it seems like. No matter how big or how small.

It also made me realize that, since everyone has issues, you're not really alone even though you feel like it. In this hospital the boy thought he didn't belong at first. He just wanted a pill to make everything better, but they made him stay. He said he didn't belong in the same place as a schizophrenic, or someone who hasn't left their room since they got there, or even with the girl who cut herself. After just a day or two, he realized they are all just people and they all have problems like him. He even fell in love with that girl who cut at the end and helped other people there. Sometimes people with issues are blessed to have other people with issues. Sometimes it's better to cry with someone than all alone. Sometimes it's nice to have someone else with problems so you know you're not some kind of freak. 

Depression is a really sad thing, literally. You're just always sad. You're just always mad. You don't really know why. You don't really know what to do to fix it. You just kind of have to force yourself to be happy. I wish pain did not exist. But for now, this is the world we're stuck with and I'd say it consists of about 85% pain 15% happiness. That's sad. People should be happy. People need to be nice to random people because sometimes it just makes their day so much better. What if they were going to go jump off a bridge later, but you telling them they looked nice saved their life? That's kind of extreme but you get the idea.

Once I was stuck at the Chicago O'Hare Airport all alone for 6 hours or something. I had lost my money the week before so I barely had any and I wasn't supposed to be stuck there that long. I hadn't eaten in hours and I had 87 cents. I had been sitting in a booth in the food area for about 2 hours, and I was tired and on the verge of tears. All of the sudden this woman sitting near me asked if I wanted the rest of her pizza because she had to catch her flight and didn't want to throw it away. I never liked taco pizza, but I sure appreciated it that day. I thanked her about 6 times and I told her I had been stuck here for hours and that it was just a miracle. It made my horrible day a little bit better. It was just one of those amazing moments where you feel so low and then you're just surprised with something awesome, no matter how simple it may be. Those are what makes this life happy and take away times when you feel depressed. Tiny everyday miracles make days good. Just someone being there to listen and to hug makes you know it's okay to be sad sometimes, so try and be that person to someone, someone a person can run to when they don't know where to go. Be someone's mental hospital. 

Fearless

This is one of my favorite songs, "Fearless" by Taylor Swift. 

There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained

There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car

And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there

In the middle of the parking lot, yeah

We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now

But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair

Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless

And I don't know why but with you I dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless

So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road

In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here

In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me

In this moment, now capture it, remember it

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless

Well, you stood there with me in the doorway

My hands shake, I'm not usually this way

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'

It's fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless

Taylor Swift has a really amazing explanation of this song and what "Fearless" means to her. So here's what it means to me:

I think fearless is not being afraid to tell people what you think. It's fearless to be able to tell someone your flaws or let them see your imperfections knowing they may run after what they see. It's going through a hard time with no one on earth to help you and somehow getting through it. Being fearless is doing what is right even though you know everyone will judge you for it and you might lose some of your best friends. It's fearless to tell someone no when they want you give into the peer pressures of the world. It's fearless to forgive and forget even though you know they'll just hurt you again. It's fearless to do something you believe you can do, something you've always wanted to do, when everyone says there's no way you can do it. Fearless is finally telling someone you love them. It's taking risks that could make your life so much better and still doing it even though you know you may end up heartbroken later. Fearless can mean being afraid. It's okay to be afraid it doesn't make you any less courageous. It's fearless to cry in front of people even though it makes you feel ashamed. It's fearless to give up something that's been weighing you down forever. It's fearless to talk about God at school or around your non-believer friends. It's fearless to try a new food. Fearless is doing something you've always wanted to do since you were little. It's driving a car for the first time. It's fearless to slow dance in the middle of the street with the boy you love at 11 at night in freezing weather. It's fearless to be nice to someone you've never liked, or to be the bigger person with someone who's always been rude to you. Fearless is dancing like no ones watching and singing at the top of your lungs in the car even when the windows are rolled down. It's fearless to miss a football game to do homework so you can get an A in a class. It's fearless to go out for a sport, even though you know you suck. It's asking someone out, not knowing what they'll say. Fearless is doing things you never thought you could do and doing them with your best effort and without regrets. Fearless is just being able to live in this crazy world. Fearless is having faith and knowing things will get better so you're taking the hardships now. Being fearless is not always easy, but it's worth it. It comes with many struggles and facing those struggles is purely Fearless.

Racism Against Whites.

Apparently, it's not okay to say anything based on race to a black person or other minority, but it's perfectly fine for anyone to say it to a white person.

This topic absolutely ticks me off. It is so unfair. There is so much racism against white people that no one even cares about, and minorities get so many more privileges. I'm not by any means saying there isn't racism against other races, there definitely is, and, unlike racism against white people, it is shown in the news.

Our country is supposed to be all about equality, freedom for everyone, no special privileges for a specific group. But that idea is dead. It was never really alive because in the past it was racism against minorities, now it's racism against whites and still against minorities. There was never really an equal ground. I, and many others including one of my black friends, agree that it is not at all fair that minorities get special scholarships. They didn't have to work for that money for college, they just had to be born a certain color. So what if a white person couldn't afford to go to college, but if they got the same money as someone of a different color, they could? Is that fair? No! It's not our fault we were born white, so don't give others special privileges and favor them. I understand colleges want diversity, but if a white person gets better grades and test scores than the minority, and the minority gets in instead, it's an abomination to me. It is just so unfair and it should not be based on race.

Minorities get special treatment as well. If you say anything stereotypical about them, even if it is true, you get punished as a white person. It's not fair that they can say words that we can't or things about each other that, if we do, it is just so racist and we should be punished. For example, they can make a movie called "White Men Can't Jump" which is a stereotype, but if they made a movie called "Black Men Can't Swim" or "Asian Men Do Math" that would be all over the news and would never even make it into the theaters. Maybe whites aren't the best jumpers, but some are. Maybe blacks aren't the best swimmers, but there was a very successful African American swimmer in the Olympics this year! And Asians, well, they have a good stereotype but I know a few who aren't the best at math. But that's beside the point. They are allowed to do certain things that we can't because it would be racist if white people did anything involving a stereotype. 

The media sends out so many messages about how white people are racist. If a white person shoots a black person it's a hate crime and is all over CNN or other national news channels. If a black person shoots a white person it's just a sad tragedy that probably won't be covered in anything but local or statewide news. Or even same-race shootings, they aren't as big of a deal as a white person shooting a minority. Why does every thing have to be about race? Why can't it just be a person shot a person, and that's wrong to matter what and they should go to jail? Why does race have to play a role? If this is really the "equal, free country" we say it is why do they even need to advertise the races of the victims? For example the Trayvon Martin case. A white/Latino man, George Zimmerman shot an unarmed 17 year old black boy because he felt "threatened." Yes this is very bad I'm not saying that it's not at all and he should be punished. But, I bet you didn't hear much about the Roderick Scott, Christopher Cervini case. It was the exact same thing, except the races were opposite. Roderick Scott, a black man, shot Christopher Cervini, a 17 year old white boy and was not punished as he should have been. It was covered in the news, but not as long and there wasn't as big of a deal made about it. No mobs in the streets protesting and claiming it was a hate crime. If white people would have done that, it would be seen as racist. But it was fine and it was covered in the news that mobs of black people swarmed the streets in the white against black crime. White people are expected to see things without race as a factor, hate crimes don't exist for them. But for black people, it is perfectly acceptable to see everything as a hate or racial crime.

I hate how people would say, "Oh, you're not voting for Obama because you're a racist conservative!" NO. Maybe for some people but very very few and the people who say that should not categorize all republicans as "racists" because we really do not like Obama and his stupid policies. His race has nothing to do with it. If there was a black republican running for president, I'm pretty sure most republicans would still vote for him. And then there's people who voted for him because he's black. Which is just stupid. That should not be a factor in deciding to vote for someone or not. Yeah, it's cool and historic that he's the first black president, but why does that matter? Shouldn't only his policies matter? People who vote for him because he's black or young or hip or whatever need to realize that that is such a stupid thing to do and maybe if they actually listened to what he was saying they wouldn't vote for him. 

February is Black History Month. September 15th-October 15th is Hispanic Heritage Month. Where is there a White History Month? No, we can't have that because that would be racist and discriminatory and exclude people. There are black churches and Latino churches, but if there was a white-only church that would just be so wrong to everyone. There should be no separation of race especially in something like a church. There should be no special things for certain races. 

So, basically all I'm saying is, America needs to forget this idea of "minorities" and just see everyone as a human being and treat them equal. 

Yearbook. Is. Important.

Imagine never having a yearbook to look back on and see how you and your friends have changed. That would suck right?

Sometimes people do not give the yearbook enough credit, to be completely honest. They love getting it, but they don't think about it throughout the year like they do the school newspaper because it's just a once a year big event. And a yearbook as big and as awesome as Kennedy's should get more credit. It takes the whole entire school year plus summer to put that thing together! It's pretty much always over 150 pages and they're not just books with pictures. They have articles and these things called mods and polls that take forever to compile and quotes and things specific from that year for people to remember in later years.

That's my favorite thing about yearbook and I think almost everyone on the staff would agree. Our favorite thing is that it lasts. People look back on it in 20 years and reminisce and think about their first high school dance and the crazy ways people were asked.. or how they won a football game for their team.. or just what was popular back in the day! I always like looking at the old yearbooks at Kennedy and finding my dad and all his funny band and wrestling pictures. What if we didn't have a yearbook to be able to do that anymore? I even just enjoy looking at my ones from when I was little and seeing how weird I was. 

So many more hours go in to yearbook than you would think, especially for the editors. In the summer is when we actually edit the whole thing like 3 final times. I helped with that a lot last year too even though I wasn't the editor yet. The staff has to face often annoyed teachers just to get a quote and a picture, but they do it happily which makes me really happy as well. We go to sporting events that we have no interest in at all because we believe in covering everyone's story, not just what we like. I don't particularly like to watch swim meets, but I love taking pictures so it can be fun while getting important work done. One goal of ours is to have every single student in the yearbook at least 3 times. We try not to make it much more than that because then it seems like we like a particular group more than another and we really want to cover everyone equally. The people who don't do anything in school sometimes do crazy things outside of school and we want to give them credit for that. 

Anyway, people should buy their yearbooks so they can remember all of the great things that happen this year! High school only happens once, so you might as well get a book to remember it all by.

Flannel Fridays do not mean Plaid Fridays

Flannel and plaid are NOT the same thing. Why can't people get that through their head.

At my school in the fall and winter months, many people do this thing called "Flannel Friday." On Fridays they wear "flannel." BUT IT'S NOT FLANNEL THEY ARE WEARING. They just wear plaid, which is a pattern, not flannel, which is a material. And they call it "Flannel Fridays." No. Stop. You're wrong. Call it Plaid Friday if you're going to simply wear plaid.

I don't know why this bothers me so much. It's really weird, but it does and it always has. I guess it's just because I have been properly educated on patterns and materials and I have always been a wearer of both plaid, and flannel, but knew the difference. Yes, most flannel is plaid because that's just the design they choose to put on it, but not all plaid is flannel. There is light weight cotton plaid or polyester plaid or tweed plaid or whatever else. It's just a design on any type of material and has nothing to do with the material itself. Flannel is a more heavy weight material. It can turn kind of fuzzy after many washes. It was originally made of wool, but now they mostly just use cotton or some synthetic fiber to make it. It's woven in a certain way and it all around just looks and feels different. It is similar to the Scottish fabric, Tartan, which is probably the reason people get flannel mixed up with plaid so much. Tartan is used for both the design and the fabric because Tartan is pretty much always plaid. It's what they make kilts out of. So Tartan may be used to describe both the material or design, but plaid may not. So don't. You just sound silly. If you wanted to call it "Tartan Tuesdays" or something, I would be fine with that, but with Flannel Fridays it's like people aren't being politically correct with their clothing.

This is a flannel shirt, it's more of a checked plaid.

These are flannel sheets. They are NOT plaid.

This is what the material looks like, kind of fuzzy and thick.

Flannel is often used for bed sheets in the winter as well as the button up shirts. It's main design is checked or plaid but on sheets it can be anything.

Plaid is vertical and horizontal, sometimes even a few thin diagonal lines, with different colors. It's used for shirts, shorts, or just whatever anyone wants to be plaid.


Plaid shorts. Obviously not made of flannel.

 

It's just a design.

You can see how this the shirt is. This is what most people wear for "Flannel Friday."

Just another type of plaid.

So you see, many students at my school are very wrong and look silly when they attempt to participate in "Flannel Friday" and just wear plaid in a different material and call it flannel. I hope people learn the correct terms for clothing and what they are putting on their body so they don't look so foolish in the future.

Pictures from

http://www.galaxyarmynavy.com/item-4739red.asp

http://www.5orangepotatoes.com/blog/2009/10/04/handmade-holidays-my-sisters-dont-dare-peek/

http://www.ljcfyi.com/2007_12_01_archive.html

http://vandelaydesign.com/blog/design/create-plaid-pattern/

http://www.selectism.com/2008/07/18/unis-blue-plaid-shirt-fall-2008/

http://www.momfinds.com/2010/taste-test-which-plaid-shorts-costs-almost-ten-times-more-than-the-other/

Fall

The past two or three days have felt much more fall-like than the week before that. Fall is my favorite time of year. So here is a little corny poem I am just now going to come up with...

Leaves fall like snowflakes slowly through the air

The breeze gets cooler

Trees become bare

Before grass turns brown 

And there's frost on the windows

There's a beautiful array of colors that covers the town

Red, orange, and yellow

All around us on the trees

Campfires flicker as I roast a marshmallow

Football games and bonfires

Homework of course

Little children playing on swings made of tires

No more tan skin 

No more hot sun

Just heat of a fire and a sweatshirt from him 

Teenagers choose a homecoming date 

Kids pick out Halloween costumes

After Thanksgiving adults try to lose weight

Smells of cinnamon flow through the house

Corn on the cob

Crumbs that attract another mouse

There's some dreadful reason

That winter comes next

But fall is still my favorite season.

I'm in Love with Weddings

If there is a 16 year old more obsessed with weddings than me, I'd like to meet them. 

I've been planning a perfect wedding for myself since I was about 6 and started watching "My Big Redneck Wedding." Although I've gone away from the idea of possum for the reception dinner, riding in on a tractor, and having the wedding in a barn, it still sparked my love for weddings. I'm also still obsessed with all the wedding shows on TLC. If Four Weddings or Say Yes to the Dress is on, I'm probably watching it. I love seeing all the different kinds of weddings and themes in Four Weddings and listening to the vows the couple makes to each other. I've even cried watching that show. With Say Yes to the Dress I just love seeing all the different kinds of dresses and how rude some of the people they bring along are, but my favorite part is seeing the bride's face when she tries on the perfect dress.

Weddings are an emotional time for the bride and groom of course, but also the family and friends. Even if I don't know the couple well at a wedding I'm at, I almost always cry either when they show pictures of them over their relationship or say their vows. It's just amazing seeing the two people's love grow into something this big and weddings are a way to celebrate it with all your friends and family. 

There are so many different ways to do a wedding. You can have a small one with just your immediate family, or a huge wedding that took over a year to plan. There's a milllllion DIY things you can do with weddings, and Pinterest is the place to start! (Trust me, my wedding board is huge.) There's so many different styles and brands of dresses, oh, and then there's the bridesmaid's dresses, and of course the groom and his groomsmen's tuxes and what about the cake? There are so many cool looking wedding cakes! As you can see, a LOT goes in to planning a wedding, and making it perfect like the one you've always wanted. It causes a lot of stress to the bridal party sometimes, but I think I'll love it when I get married. Maybe not though. Maybe since I'm such a perfectionist and I have this vision in my mind of perfect wedding, I'll be more stressed. I really have no idea. I want a big wedding with tons of personal touches and all the sweet cliches, but with originality added to them. That's the best way I can describe it without this post being 49865932456 words long. 

I want to be a wedding photographer in college. Two things I absolutely love: weddings and photography! I'd get to attend tons of people's weddings that I don't even know and see all their ideas and maybe use ones I really like for my own someday. It's such an important part of a wedding. Relatives who for some reason couldn't attend will want to see your pictures as soon as they can, and you'll want every second of that day captured, from the time you got up in the morning to the time you're about to go to "sleep". Your kids, especially if you have a daughter will want to see your wedding pictures, and maybe they'll want to recreate a picture you had in your wedding in theirs. 

A mother is such a big part in her daughter's wedding. Unfortunately I won't get to have mine at my wedding. She died when I was 13 and won't be there. That's the part at weddings that makes me cry the most, I see the mom in the front row crying and I know that spot will be empty for me. I have some good aunts who will be there though and help me with anything I need but it won't be the same. That'll be hard at my wedding but I'll be so happy that I'm getting married to someone I love, I think I'll be alright most of the time. 

Weddings are such a magical time in a person's life. It's the start of the rest of your life with a person you love more than anyone and you'll get to see them every day. They're holy and some people don't see them as a big deal nowadays because many couples live together while they're just dating, but I think marriage is an important part of commitment and a celebration and it's just like a big fun party where you get to be the boss and wear a pretty dress. Mine may not be for a long while, but I'm already so excited for that day and the meaning of it. 

Capturing a Moment

If there is one thing I do too much of it's taking pictures. 

I have 2,913 pictures on my phone that I haven't even had a year. I've filled up an 16gb memory card in a day. I've gone through about 4 digital cameras since I got my first one. I'm obsessed.

There's so much diversity with photography. There are so many different types of cameras, or even just settings on a standard digital camera. There's so many different poses you can have someone do. There's an infinite amount of things you can take pictures of and ways you can do it.

My favorite things to take pictures of are people and the sunrise or cool looking clouds. With people, I like taking unexpected pictures because it captures real emotion and action, unlike a posed picture which is usually just fake smiling or whatever the photographer wants them to convey. I like taking pictures of the sunrise because it's just beautiful and not many people see it because they don't wake up right as it's peaking through the clouds. I've gone out to Palo Lake when the sun rises a few times and took pictures. It reflects off the water and is just outstanding. 

Photography is all about capturing what someone may not have noticed or may not remember later; capturing the moment with all of it's finest details. It preserves things that may not be there later and retains the emotion felt when that photo was taken.

Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter.  ~Ansel Adams 

 It's simpler than writing about it and trying to capture every detail than words, and more complex as well, because a picture may not come right out and say the message it sends like writing sometimes does. 

I recently took my boyfriend's senior pictures and it was one of the best photography experiences I've ever had. I hadn't really done portrait type-photography before so I played around with the elements of it. I tried different settings and poses, we went to about 7 different places, maybe more, and had many changes of outfits. He got tired and bored but was still a good model and got some great pictures out of it. I've gotten many compliments on them and I'm really proud of my work. I spent hours editing them on Photoshop, trying different color settings and such. 

When I was little I had a Bugs Bunny camera that made tiny little pictures that came out automatically. I used it all the time and even made myself a photo album from them. I like going back to old pictures to remember things from when I was little like that. Now I always have a camera with me, whether it's my digital one for when I go somewhere with friends, the big SLR for yearbook, or just my phone, because you never know what you may see that you'll want to remember with a picture.

Smokers. Grr.

I hate smokers.


Not necessarily the people themselves, but the fact that they smoke. Do they not have any consideration for people around them? And they obviously don't care about themselves and their own health, but there's plenty of other ways to kill yourself since that's what they're basically doing that won't hurt others around them.


When I'm walking somewhere and pass a smoker I usually cough pretty loudly so they get the hint "Hey, you're nasty and you're hurting my lungs." I can't stand the smell of it, not any kind of smoke besides out of a campfire. Cigarettes are the worst, but at the fair this summer a man was smoking a cigar decently far away from me and the smell made me sick to my stomach. I just hate it. How can people enjoy putting that into their lungs? How can being choked up feel good? I wish they'd just make all smoking illegal. It doesn't matter what, cigarettes, cigars, a corn cob pipe, some ceremonial peace pipe, a hookah, and most importantly, what is illegal-crack and marijuana- should stay illegal.


Smoking anything is illegal for people under 18 for a reason. The decision making part of out brain, the frontal cortex, still changes and matures even up until we're well into our adult lives. Most life-time smokers get started at a young age, before that part of our brain is developed and they can't make a good rational decision about it. Yes, they've been taught all the consequences like lung cancer and yellow teeth, but for some reason that doesn't stop them from trying it, and it's probably because they can't make good decisions yet. Under-age kids should never even start smoking because it's addictive and honestly, we're dumb and young and should listen when they tell us it's bad and should pay attention to the no one under 18 signs. There's a fine line between trying it one time and getting addicted.


And that goes for weed too. From what I've heard, you don't get high the first time. So people do it a second time. Then they like the feeling, so they keep doing it, never mind the harm that it causes. That's another thing I've heard, "Oh, well weed isn't even as harmful as tobacco products." Really? Yes it is. It's an illegal gateway drug that could lead to much worse illegal drugs. Pretty soon someone who just wanted to try marijuana once, will be a meth-addict. Okay, maybe that's an extreme case, but I've heard of it happening a lot. And, it's ILLEGAL! It's bad! If you get caught, you're in big trouble. Isn't that enough to keep people away? I guess not, because so many people do it. Do they not care about getting in trouble? Also, it IS harmful to your body. It has mind-altering substances in it, that will make you do things you wish you wouldn't have, even if you say it's not particularly harmful to your body, the afterward effects can be. But I have news for you, it IS harmful to your body. Sometimes it can contain cancer causing chemicals, it gives you impaired judgement, bad motor skills, rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, pharyngitis, laryngitis, bronchitis, can lead to lung, head, and neck cancer, causes harm to things called "T-cells" that help fight infection and keep your immune system on track, can cause slow development in younger teens, can decrease fertility, and cause breast enlargement in males. And people will laugh if that last one happens to you. So those are the "harmless" effects of marijuana people speak of. Personally, I don't want any of those. It also can make you depressed. Many depressed people go to drugs like marijuana, but it only hurts them more. It's just making the pain go away for a little bit while you're high, but it'll come right back when you're not, maybe even worse than before.


Smokers really just get under my skin. They're inconsiderate that someone with a small child may be near, and they just keep on puffin', hurting the lungs of innocent citizens around them. They just throw their nasty used stubs on the ground, littering and making beaches gross to walk on in your bare feet. They smell bad and have weird voices after smoking for a long time. They have bad breath, (who would ever kiss a smoker? That's gross!!) They waste their money on it and then try to get money from the government that the hard working tax payers had to pay. They're just inconsiderate people, whether they realize it or not and are killing themselves while having a good ole smoke.


Stupid smokers.


Some info gathered from http://www.teengrowth.com/index.cfm?action=info_advice&ID_Advice=948

If I just had more time...

This morning I was getting ready for church, knowing I'd have extra time when I was done because my boyfriend is almost always late to pick me up. (Just my luck he wasn't this time.) I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with that extra little bit of time. Should I do something extra with my hair, or just lay on the couch? Then I decided, two things I wish I had more time for is reading and practicing my guitar. I love to read, as long as it's a book I find interesting, and I really want to be a good guitar player since I just started. But it seems like I don't have time! I do, they just aren't my top priorities, especially now that school's started. I have enough reading to do for AP US history, and if I'm not doing homework all I want to do is lay around and rest, not fill my brain with new guitar chords.


I also wish I had more time to exercise. I do, I just don't want to now because I'm so tired after school that I just can't. But I couldn't do that before church. Finally I decided to practice guitar since it was sitting right next to me. Unluckily, right as I got it out, Jared pulled up.


Before he came I just texted him as soon as this whole "If there was something you had more time to do, what would it be" thing came into my mind. He said he'd experience as much as he could in life. He asked me and my answer was not near as profound as his. I just said reading and guitar. He also said soccer later.

His first answer was a really good one. You could use that in so many different ways. Both good and bad. Good ways would be experiencing new foods, taking adventures to different countries, helping people who don't have as much, getting a puppy, and being something you've always wanted to be. Bad ways would be choosing to experience things that really won't improve your life and may even ruin it. And for some weird reason, people still choose to experience these things in their life. Things like smoking, drinking at a young age, partying (in a bad way), doing drugs, cheating on their husband or wife. Smoking is my biggest one. I hate it. I have almost no respect for someone who smokes. Why would you want to experience giving yourself, and others, cancer? I'll probably have a rant blog about that soon.


Anyway, you should only want to experience the good things in life. Of course, we don't always get to. People die, they move away, our cookies get burned, we have a bad hair day. Those are all pretty different on a scale from "Sucks" to "I don't even want to be here anymore." But, unfortunately we're stuck in this crazy world for awhile, so you should try your best to experience the good things, and stay away from the bad that you can. Someone from a college came up with the new "YOLO" and I think it's 10x better and I even had my blog called this at first: MAWMIC. Might as well make it count. Because it doesn't matter that you only live once if you're doing things that won't make it worthwhile and won't make people remember you like you want them to. Who wants to be remembered as the high school drug dealer? Or the one who always hosted the crazy parties? People won't remember that years from now. And if they do, is that a good thing? No. They won't have respect for you. They'll be sitting in their executive penthouse office because they did something with their life, and the other will be sitting on the side of the road smoking a blunt and asking for money. If you do things that matter you'll most likely have a wonderful family and friends your whole life, if you don't you may be lonely and just sick of living. So, make your life count, make others in the future want to be like you. With your time here on Earth, do something with your life and don't waste it on things that won't help you, or anyone else.