I'm a Guilty Grammar Snob

WHAT is so hard about knowing the difference between your and you're?



I cannot stand pathetic morons in high school or later that obviously never attended a day of elementary school when we learned such things.



The mistakes people most often make are small, but they drive me insane and can also change the meaning of something. There's, of course, the three forms of their, there, and they're. There is like "the ball over there." Their, is like "that is their grandma's dog." They're, is a contraction of they and are. So it's used like, "They're going to play in the park."



People really just can't seem to grasp the concept of contractions. They use them incorrectly all the time. Other than "they're", another example is "you're". It is a shortened version of "you are" therefore it needs an apostrophe and the e. It is NOT the same as "your." Your, is possessive. You'd say "thats your chicken." The people who incorrectly write "that's you're chicken" are saying "that's you are chicken." It makes no sense.



Another just like this, is "its" and "it's". It's is a contraction; short for it is. Its is possessive-like "that's its home." I do see how this can be confusing, because usually possessive words have apostrophes.

When you say "Meghan's face" you need the apostrophe to show it's possessive. If you just said "Meghans face" that would mean multiple Meghans and then the face just doesn't really make sense. If there are, indeed, multiple Meghans' faces, then you put the apostrophe after the s. But maybe this is getting to complex for people who can't even figure out the difference between your and you're.



People also often use the incorrect forms of to, too, and even two. To, means from something, to something else. For example "my cat went TO the bathroom on my leg." Usually people get this to right, but they don't understand "too." Too means in addition to, or an excess of something. For in addition to, it would be used like "I like turtles, too." For an excess of something, it's used like "that is too much salt." People usually mess that up and would say "that is to much salt." It drives me INSANE. I admit, I've done it before, and then I slap myself. Then, there are the COMPLETE morons who use "two" for either of the others. This two, my friends, is a number. It makes zero sense to say "my cat when 2 the bathroom on my leg," because that is what you are saying. It also makes no sense to say "I like turtles 2." So just learn what each means, and get them right.



Being a yearbook editor, I find many mistakes such as these. One thing that apparently, public elementary school teachers failed to teach their students, is how to use the correct punctuation when quoting someone. Often, at yearbook, I run into people who write, "I was really excited." said Alli. Or, "I was really excited" said Alli. Another is really weird, "I was really excited", said Alli. Well, my young imbeciles, the correct way to say that Alli was excited is to put the comma before the quotation marks. "I was really excited," said Alli. CONGRATULATIONS YOU PASSED SECOND GRADE! Really, did people not learn this in public school? Because so many do it wrong, and I learned it at my private elementary school. Oh, but you only do that comma thing if 'said' comes after the quote. (Or some form of said, like exclaimed, or stated.)



Of course, bad grammar does not just have to do with writing. People also speak with bad grammar. Sometimes, this is more forgivable, but other times, it's worse than a few misused forms of too. One thing I really cannot stand, is when people use "don't" instead of "doesn't."A lot of people in my family do this and I don't know if it's just some Midwest ignorance or what? Don't is a contraction of do and not. Like "don't play in the street." But, people often use don't instead of doesn't. Doesn't is a contraction of does and not. So you can say "that can opener doesn't work" because it's saying "that does not work." These people who speak poorly, say "that can opener don't work." Think about how hickish that sounds. And it makes no sense. "the can opener do not work?" What? You people need to get your tenses and plural forms right. Fools.



Another thing people here in the good ole' Midwest sometimes use incorrectly, are were and was. Was, is used for I, he, and she. That's it. It's wrong to say "they was" or "we was". Those are plural words and 'was' is used for singular people/objects. Were, is used for they or we because it is plural. "We were making mashed potatoes." You wouldn't say, "We was making mashed potatoes," unless you're an uneducated pre-civil war beat farmer.



The use of proper grammar is overall just really important because it shows your education level. If you speak or write poorly, you just sound dumb. So please, people of America, you have public education so utilize that and learn your own language.