Teens and Relationships

I used to think that it was impossible for teenagers to be in love. 

Now I want to go back and hit myself in the face.

I do think 80% of the teenagers who "love" their significant other aren't really in love, but I definitely do not think it's some unreasonable myth anymore. 

Maybe it's because I have a boyfriend who I know I love. We've been together for a year and four months which is longer than most 20-30 year olds are before they get married. So that kind of sucks because we're in high school in a serious relationship, and we have to wait 4 or 5 more years to get married. But that's okay because we love each other. 

Back in Bible times and even after that, it was normal to get married at age 14-17. Most of the time your parents arranged it, but still. Once a middle aged relative of mine told me when she was in high school you were a weirdo pretty much if you weren't engaged by graduation. That seems crazy in today's society, and that was just before the divorce rates began to climb to where they are now. People weren't just dating to have fun and to hook up with someone. They were dating to find the person they want to marry. 

That's how it should be. I'm not at all saying that we should spend high school trying to find the love of our lives. However, if we meet someone we could see ourselves marrying, we shouldn't brush that off to the side because society thinks it's silly to date the same person you marry in high school. To me, it's better because then you know the person when life is really dramatic and weird. You learn things about their past because you are their past. You don't have to deal with old exes. Maybe one or two-unless they were playaaazzz. But not the same as you would if you married someone you met after college. So if you meet someone you love in high school, stay with them. Don't dump them just because it's high school. 3 out of my 5 married cousins that I can think of dated their spouse in high school. They didn't really date anyone else before, just like me and Jared.

Like I said, you shouldn't date someone unless you could see yourself marrying them. Well, that's my own opinion I suppose, but I stand by it! In middle school all my friends had boyfriends. Even they admit that it was silly. I never had one. Not because I didn't want one or couldn't get one, but because I won't settle for less than what I want. It's not like I was really looking, and honestly I don't think it's good to look super hard for someone to date. That often makes people settle. They get desperate to just find someone after looking. If you just get to know people as friends first then you can really understand who they are. Then you can think about dating them. 

Which brings me to a mistake teenagers, and people in general, make too often. They just begin dating someone without ever hanging out or really talking and getting to know each other first. They think dating is the time to do that. But if you do that, you often find out things you don't like about them- then you have more exes, so you can't really stay friends without it being at least a little awkward. But if you get to know them before dating and then decide you don't actually like them, then you can probably still be friends and no hearts are too hurt. It also makes you seem like less of a boy (or girl) hot if you haven't had 18 relationships by your senior year of high school. Plus, how would you know if they're someone you'd like to spend your life with without really getting to know them?

Of course there are those annoying "in love" teen couples who started dating before they got to know each other. I hate that they ruin it for the rest of us. They've been dating a week and are saying "I love you." They kissed before they even officially started dating. Me and my boyfriend held hands and I felt like a whore for holding hands with someone I wasn't dating. (Okay, I may be a little prude, sorry.) They have sex after dating a month or so. They make out in the hallways at school. They constantly publicly tweet and Facebook each other about their love for one another instead of just texting one another. Then they break up. They moved too fast and didn't really know each other well enough to date, much less go that far in a 4 month relationship.

My point is, they can work if you do it right and don't act like immature fools. Relationships are wonderful things! And they can be in high school if you want them to. I think someone who's 16 can just as easily be in love as someone who's 25. You just have to find the right person.