Just Wait, He's Somewhere

So many teenage girls I know are freaking out about being "forever alone."

Well stop. 

I know, easy for me to say right? I found the love of my life at the age of 15. 

But I wasn't looking for him.

There's this thing called serendipity which means good things happen when you don't expect them to. I think that these girls (or even boys) need to stop complaining about it and just let it happen when it does. If they don't want to just let it go, then maybe they should actually try to look for a guy instead of  writing about how they are oh-so-lonely and in need of a cuddle buddy on Twitter. 

When my boyfriend and I began talking, I was not really looking for a relationship. I had been for months (maybe years) before that. I had liked this guy at my school for almost two years and he was still only my best friend. And even that was falling apart. I finally gave it up. I mean, I had said that sooo many other times but I always just fell back into liking him again. This time, I left for church camp right after I decided that. I thought "okay, I just won't worry about boys for awhile. I'll be with friends and worry about that later. If one shows up, then so be it, but I'm not going to waste another two years of my life going after some guy who will never like me." And guess what. That very week at camp I started to get to know Jared. It usually won't happen that quickly; I was lucky. 

My point is, girls need to just relax. Most people don't find their soul mate in high school! And you shouldn't become so desperate that you'll date just anyone because you want a boyfriend THAT badly. You have years ahead to find the perfect one not just someone. 

Dating is all about finding the person you want to marry. You shouldn't even consider dating someone if you could never ever see yourself with them for the rest of your life. And frankly, most people aren't ready for that in high school! I'm just one of the weird ones who likes to start planning the rest of my life wayyy in advance-and I found the boy I want to spend it with too. Most people, on the other hand, really can't handle that kind of commitment or planning at this age. So don't worry about it. This may be cliche, but God will find you the one when the time is right. 

I see girls post that there are no good guys left, they're all jerks, no one would ever love them, guys like the ones in movies aren't real.
THAT is why I encourage these girls to wait. Wait until you find a good guy. Wait until you find one who proves to you that all guys actually aren't jerks. Wait till one loves you more than you could have ever imagined. Wait until one is crazy about you like those guys in movies are with their girls. 

It isn't easy to find. Sometimes you just have to sit back and wait until one comes along. They do exist. Nice guys do exist. I'm not just saying that because I have the perfect boyfriend. In fact, he's not always perfect. Sometimes I wish he was more romantic. We all have these super high expectations and they corner guys and make them look like jerks because they aren't exactly like Noah in The Notebook. But when they truly do love you and want to be with you they will show it in some way. Maybe not exactly like the guys in a Nicholas Sparks movie or Taylor Swift song like we wish, but they'll show you. 

My advice to these girls is make a list of everything you want in a guy. It can be hundreds of things. Then order them in importance. If you meet a guy who you think is interested in you, first make sure he meets your top ones. Until you meet someone though, don't say all guys are jerks because that is only hurting the guys who could have been attracted to you. It makes them think that they could never get close enough to you because you'll just hate them because they're a guy so they're obviously a jerk. When you do meet someone don't push them away. But before you even start dating you should hang out some to see if he really does meet your criteria for a good future husband. If he doesn't, why waste your time? Save yourself the heartbreak. And if he doesn't seem at all interested, don't go after him for too long because by running after him you could be missing someone amazing standing on the sidelines waiting for someone like you to see them. So just don't worry. It will all work out if you give it time.